Episodes

  • 12. Cat Woman’s Heartbreak

    Sure it's great that all these old people are having a nice time, but what are the YOUNG people up to? And who the heck do they fancy? Tell me now!

    This week we're slip n' sliding our way through the intricate social web of Moscow's youth scene to answer these critical questions. Join us as we jump on the seesaw of uncertainty, clamber high on the jungle gym of jealousy and go feet first down the slide of emotional instability.

    The stakes are high and the eyes have never been deweyer, don't miss this week's episode.

    Show notes

    Hugh's incredible hand drawingIt's been an e-mail bonanza this week. Hugh from the UK sent in a sensational drawing of Pierre's hands. I'm sure you'll agree it really captures Pierre's deepest motivations, inner ambitions as well as his big red hands - a true work of art.

    Hugh's drawing rightly takes its place as the first piece on the walls of Tolstoy's Hall of Fame - thank you Hugh. 

  • 11. The Psychic Doll

    Join us this week as we meet one of the lesser-known characters of War and Peace - Mimi the Psychic Doll.

    Is she the true power behind the Rostóv's incredible wealth? Who is the small boy she controls and what does he want? And how will the family finally escape her supernatural grasp?

    Plus it's cause for celebration as we enjoy our first ever name day, and we go deep inside the snuff tin to find out more about the mysterious nasal spice.

  • 10. The Final Countdown

    We've met a fair few wealthy people, even some really quite rich people and now it's time to meet the most fabulously loaded family Russia has ever produced. We're talking the Ferrero Rocher of human beings - yeah, they're that rich.

    They've got footmen coming out the wazoo, enough snuff to kill a massive elephant and the sharpest small talk in all of Moscow.

    Move over Dale Carnegie, if you really want to know How to Win Friends and Influence People, listen to this episode.

  • 9. Party Bear

    Sure, the party's over, but that doesn't mean there isn't time for ANOTHER PARTY. Put the vol-au-vents in the bin - it turns out getting absolutely wasted was the idea all along.

    What you'll need: 1 litre of rum per person, carpentry tools, a friendly but irresponsible zoo keeper, and of course a couple of packs of cards. Oh, and don't forget your collar and chain.

    The party rule book is quite literally out of the window. Trust us, you've never seen anything like this.

  • 8. Negative Nancy

    It's an age old debate: will marriage make you happy and fulfilled, or will it suck the entire life force from you, turning you into an empty husk - a gibbering, nodding, simpleton, broken and corrupted by the ring on your finger and the ball and chain on your leg?

    Tune in this week for some advice that really could change your life as Negative Nancy dives deep, deep, deep into the pit of despair that is marriage.

  • 7. Stay Out Of It, Pierre!

    War and Peace - a happy dream world of endless partying, thoroughly amusing small talk and exciting networking opportunities... or is it?

    Join us this week as things get serious - we're going deep, deep behind the curtain and what we find there might shock you to your core.

    Bring your best friend, pack your teddy bear and think happy thoughts - this is War and Peace, and the party is over.

  • 6. Jazz Hands

    Hippolyte - boring, ugly and bad at telling stories, OR IS HE? Join us this week as the persistent young man takes another punt at impressing an audience.

    PLUS we're talking hands - we meet the Arya Stark and Hound of the hand world, one with "small white hands" the other "huge red hands" - but how can they maintain a friendship with such different hands? Tune in to see if they can weather the storm.

  • 5. The Clash of Minds

    SPOILER ALERT - The party won't end.

    Picture this: You're at a party with Russia's (nay the world's) greatest minds. You're ever so slightly overtired, incredibly ugly and everyone thinks you're worthless, but you have an incredible story in your back pocket - and it could change EVERYTHING...

    Don't miss this week's episode.

  • 4. Give Boris a Job

    SPOILER ALERT - This party is nowhere near ending!

    A party isn't just a time to let loose, it's an important time to network and extract favours from people. Well it is in 19th century Russia anyway...

    The hottest woman in the world and her visually unfortunate brother are back and don't you dare forget about those elderly women!

    If that wasn't enough, we've got NEW characters and boy do they want stuff!

    You really don't want to miss this.

  • 3. The Great Story

    SPOILER ALERT - Ain't no one stopping this party!

    We've got the elite, the powerful, an armoires worth of finger food and hordes of elderly women!

    Tune in to see who steps up to tell one of the greatest anecdotes of all time...

    You really don't want to miss this.