The time has finally come - the end of another book is upon us.
Gather round slugs, worms, maggots and humans young, old and slimy as we seamlessly complete character arcs, wrap up storylines, culminate journeys literal and figurative, and generally tie up loose ends in this decisive season finale.
The slug square is positively quivering with anticipation, and so should you be too.
Here's to one more book, and many more to come!
What happens when you add one more side to a love triangle? What happens when one of those sides is an actual slug? A slug who was hell-bent on abducting one of the sides of the square!
We promise you this all makes perfect sense. Maybe pour yourself a long drink a take a good slug...
Incredibly attractive as they may be, slugs are typically not known for their speed or for their clever plans.
Today that all changes. Prepare to meet the slug who has it all… great looks, sure (like all slugs), but also an incredible mensa level planning intellect, and exclusive access to the fastest transport system this side of Prussia.
He's got everything he needs, except for one thing - a slug bride, but today that all could be about to change.
I kissed a slug, and I liked it
Taste of its slime… surprising
I kissed a slug, just to try it
I hope my fiance don't mind it
It felt so wrong, it felt so right
Don't mean I'm a gastropod tonight
I smooched a slug and I liked it
(I liked it)
Slugs: the familiar garden beastie known for their gelatinous trails, unsightly appearance and voracious love of salad.
19th century Russian slugs were a little different - around 6ft tall they were known to roam in pairs, using their incredible influence and good looks to lure unsuspecting victims into questionable slime related situations.
Today we’re going inside the slimy mind of Moscow’s biggest, most prolific slug and his equally sluggy sidekick.
They'll be slugging their way around town covering everything in their path in deplorable, upsetting, slime, and we’ll be asking some crucial questions: What do slugs think? What do they want? If they get their slimy hands on you, is there any escape?
Why does the Devil have a saucepan son and why are they dancing? What's wrong with the King's arms? Why is he also dancing? Why is their world made entirely of cardboard?
I wish we could answer those questions but unfortunately we just have more: why is the audience slowly getting naked, why is everyone screaming, will Natasha - or for that fact anyone - ever be happy again?
We're off to the Opera!
It's all over when the Devil breakdances.
If we want to understand why pure, inescapable sadness has descended on what was once a happy, albeit somewhat violent and troubling book, we must go back in time.
Way, way, way back, all the way to Book 7 and ask ourselves some hard questions - what went wrong? Is anyone to blame? Could over indulgence of sauce or other condiments possibly be the culprit?
Everything on the table this week, even the sauces, as we go deep into the bottle of sadness to find out just how we got here and how the heck we might get out.
Sure, being sad is sad. We can't deny it. It feels bad, it feels really quite sad in fact.
But what if the only way to conquer sadness is to be even more sad? What if you could have so much sadness that sadness itself would become sad and spit you out?
It's a bold idea, sadness would never expect that.
Join us this week as we try once again to vanquish sadness in the only way left, by flipping the whole damn sad town on its head and sadding things up until the sadness falls right out. It's big, it's bold, it's sad, it's WAPIN7 Book 8.
You thought you knew sad? You know, sad... that feeling you get when you realise you've eaten the last crisp and there won't be any more crisps tonight, or when you have a shower and the hot water runs out, or even when you're on a call and the WiFi drops off and you don't know why. Sad, very sad indeed.
But it turns out things can be even sadder than that, things can get really, really sad actually in quite a sad way.
So buckle up your sad belt, pack a happy snack in your pocket and join us on the sad bus. If we're going to sad town, at least we're going together.
We're back with a sadness bomb and some problems as old as time...
Can frivolous spending, clubbing and drinking to excess improve your health, mental wellbeing and outlook on life?
What would you do if you had loads of money and lost your joie de vivre? Would you ride an elephant around your town to make your neighbours jealous? Would you cover yourself in dayglo paint, hit the club and read the phonebook on the elephant home?
Important questions indeed. There's only one way to find the answer...
Onwards! To SEASON 8