Recent Episodes

• 2 December 2021Episodes

  71. Parlay With The Pirate King – Book 5 Begins!

  Ahoy me hearties! What better way to start Book 5 than with an old sea shanty!

  One sad man in a very sad place
  Yo ho ho and a bottle of vodka
  Enter the Pirate King with a large round face
  Yo ho ho and a bottle of vodka

  Who is the Pirate King? What does he want? Why is he yelling? Why does he only eat tiny bits of sugar?

  There's only one way to find out...

  It be time to walk the plank!

• 25 November 2021Episodes

  70. Special: The Monkey’s Paw

  What happens when you take a boring old monkey paw, fill it with magical evilness and exactly three wishes, and give it to an unsuspecting family who like playing chess and listening to the wind?

  Will they wish for world peace?

  Will they wish for the world's best clown?

  Will they wish for more paws?

  There's only one way to find out...

  "Monkey Paw, I wish for a special episode of WAPIN7 summarising ALL of the Monkey's Paw!"

  *WISH GRANTING SOUNDS

  **Also some wind sounds

• 18 November 2021Episodes

  69. Book 4 Catch-Up Quiz

  You've finished book 4 of the greatest book of all time!

  You're feeling proud, brave and completely diplomat. You howl with pride. Howl like a recently cursed werewolf singing his heart out at the clavichord. Just as you reach the crescendo of your happy wolf song it dawns on you... Do I actually remember anything?

  Well do you?!

  It's quiz time!

  We've got questions about 13th century personal pronouns, shopping lists, Russian Emperors, Ham, Hands, Money, Mums and of course Smurfs.

  There's only one thing left to do.

  *CUE GAMESHOW MUSIC

  Let us know how you do! - email tolstoy@wapin7.com or follow us @wapin7podcast on Instagram 

  0 - 9 = Alexander III
  10 - 20 = Alexander II
  Over 20 = The most perfect handsome man of all time: Alexander I

• 28 October 2021Episodes

  68. The Last Song of The Werewolf – Book 4 Finale!

  Ancient Russian legends speak of an old curse.

  It is said there is a man, human to a glance, but listen to him sing and you will hear the beautiful and sad voice of a wolf.

  This half man, half wolf, is older than time itself. Through the millenia he has sought but one thing, one thing that could finally release him from his furry prison - true love.

  Who is the beast? Will the curse finally be broken? How can this possibly relate to War and Peace?

  Join us this week as we answer these questions and more in the final episode of Book 4.

• 21 October 2021Episodes

  67. The Big Ping-Pong Punt

  The first rule of Ping-Pong-Cricket cards is: you do not talk about Ping-Pong-Cricket-Cards.

  The second rule of Ping-Pong-Cricket Cards: you DO NOT talk about Ping-Pong-Cricket Cards!

  Third rule of Fight Club, sorry Ping-Ping-Cricket Cards: if someone yells “stop!”, goes limp, or taps out, the Ping-Pong-Cricket Card game is over.

  Theres only one question, 'Are you afraid to play?"

  Everything is on the line... (sort of)

  *Cue Ominous Music

• 14 October 2021Episodes

  66. 2-4-1 @ Iogels

  TONIGHT @ IOGELS
  Moscow's Hottest Club 1806

  Get ready YOUNG PEOPLE for the biggest night of the year: the alcopops are flowing, the beats are gnarlier than Napoleon, and the dance moves are completely diplomat! Yes it's SINGLES NIGHT at IOGELS.

  Don't miss out, book your tickets now.

  GUEST LIST ONLY. ALCOPOP FOUNTAIN. DANCE COMP.

• 30 September 2021Episodes

  65. Ok, Maybe One Funeral

  We've had some good times over the last 64 episodes haven't we? We've laughed, we've loved, we've danced the Cooper. Absolutely, there was a small amount of horrifying war, and just a touch of mindless violence. But overall, it's been a lot of fun.

  But as the saying goes, sometimes life gives you pineapples, and sometimes life drops hundreds of huge, sad, pineapples on you from a great height and if they hit you you'll feel incredibly sad and in pain.

  This week is the 2nd kind of week, so as the sad pineapples rain down around us let's find strength in the thought that at least we've got each other. No matter how many pineapples Tolstoy throws at us from the sky, we're reading the book together.

• 23 September 2021Episodes

  64. No Weddings And No Funeral

  Shy Moscovite Pierre (Hugh Grant) meets Moscovian Hélène (Andie MacDowell) at their own wedding and enjoys several months of marriage to her.

  The next time they meet, at their own house, Hélène is accompanied by a poor but amusing lover Dolokhov (Corin Redgrave), leaving Pierre heartbroken.

  Never mind, with the bald hills on the horizon, there's still time for him to win the love of his local sweetheart using anger, money, and shouting.

  This hugely popular comedy established Hugh Grant as Hollywood's favourite bumbling Russian and garnered Oscar nominations for Best Picture.

• 16 September 2021Episodes

  63. I Challenge Thou!

  The party continues!

  As guests greedily sup turtle soup and toast every single person in Russia a storm is brewing...

  Not a literal storm, like a storm, but an internal storm.

  What happens when a massive man with long sad hair and giant healthy red hands is pushed to his limits? Will he explode like a large massive bomb; or will he just sit there looking all sad and red?

  Retribution is coming.

• 9 September 2021Episodes

  62. Time For Toast

  Dear Listener,

  You are cordially invited to an evening of fine dining, amusements, and powerful dancing at The English Club.

  In attendance will be one SPECIAL GUEST plus Russia's oldest and wealthiest men, and of course me, the sauciest boy in town Count 'Sauce guy' Rostov. Truly it is not to be missed.

  Over 18 delightful courses we will travel the culinary world, consuming everything from chicken chins to sterlet shins. The official sauce of the party is 'mayonnaise' so please dress appropriately.

  I look forward to your reply from the bottom of my sauce pot.

  Sincaucely,

  Saucey saucey Count Rostov