Month: March 2021
42. It Has Continued!
Goodbye, Darren, my old friend
You were a horsey to the end
You softly galloped on your sweet hooves
The bravest friend that we could ever lose
I have a vision, of you nibbling on some hay
In the sky
Within the barn of silence
In restless dreams you trot alone
Narrow fields of mud and stone
'Neath the halo of Rostov's lamp
You turned your collar to the Smurfs and ham
When your eyes were stabbed by the flash of a cannon's light
That split the night
And shook the barn of silence
And in the naked light you saw
Ten thousand horses, maybe more
Horses talking without speaking
Horses hearing without listening
Horses writing songs that voices never share
No one dared
Disturb the barn of silence
"Hruff," said you, "You do not know
Silence like hay only grows
Hear my words that I might teach you
Take my hooves that I might reach you."
But his words like silent raindrops fell
And echoed in the barn of silence
And the horses bowed and prayed
To the Smurf based god they made
And the Papa wrote out his warning
In the words that he was forming
And the sign said, "The words of the horses
Are written on the wattle's walls
And palace halls
And whispered in the barn of silence."
41. It Has Begun!
You'd be forgiven for thinking the beginning of the book was the beginning - oh how naive you are! 41 chapters in and now it's really time to get things started.
The horses are primed, the ham supplies are looking good and the cannon balls have been mopped to perfection.
One thing we hadn't thought of was the requirement of an extremely well dressed Accountant...
Now that he's here, calculator in hand, there's really only one thing left to say -
Thank you to Julia (@julia.g_rockwell) for braving the trials of time travel to send us this truly masterful image of Vera’s spider filled mouth. For legal reasons we absolutely must point out that we cannot confirm or deny whether Vera’s mouth is actually filled with spiders, but if it turns out it is, this is surely what it would look like. Thank you again Julia, hopefully it goes without saying that we absolutely love getting drawings like these, even if they will haunt our dreams until the end of time.
As ever Julia's drawing takes its place along side the other works of art on the walls of Tolstoy's Hall of Fame.
40. Climbing The Success Pyramid
Do you want to be SUCCESSFUL?
Do you want to be IMPRESSIVE, FAMOUS and ATTRACTIVE?
Do you want to be heroically KILLED BY GRAPE SHOT?
If the answer to any of these questions is 'YES I DO', 'PERHAPS' or 'NOT REALLY' then WAPIN7's Climbing The Success Pyramid is the hot new motivational book for YOU.
Learn why the most successful people only ever wear denim, how epigrams can make you look smart, and how your pre-existing connections, influence and money can get you what you want.
Don't wait - listen to this week's episode now and climb the pyramid today.
39. War OR Peace?
You know the saying, "War and Peace go together like birds of a feather".
Birds have lots of feathers, you see, and a bird would not actually be legally called a bird if it had no feathers... Which is a lot like war and peace when you think about it. I mean, when you really think about it.
Can you ever truly have peace without having some war? Does war inevitably always lead to peace? Is there a bird that exists in the wild without feathers, and if so, will it declare an unstoppable war?!
We, like the Russian Generals, have absolutely no idea.
*No birds were harmed (or even mentioned) in this episode.