Month: October 2020

  • 22. It’s Unction Time!

    Put on your finest Unction hat, Unction gloves and little Unction shoes and get ready to administer... Unction! It's time.  Sit back and relax as the Uncle in the bedroom prepares himself for the best damn Unction-ing you've ever seen. If only we were allowed in...

    Who gets the inheritance? What’s an Unction? Who’s taller (in hams of course), Tom Cruise or Danny DeVito? Find out the answer to ONE of these questions in this week's episode. 

  • 21. Letter in the bedroom

    There's an uncle in the bedroom, we all know that, but what the hell has he been doing in there?

    What we do know: he's really, really rich and he's really, really ill - and as if that wasn't enough, he has at least one bedroom.

    This week, we're not going in the bedroom (why would we!), but boy are we finding out more about the man with the bedroom, the things he has in his bedroom, and what he's been doing in his bedroom.

    Don't miss this week's episode as the curious saga of the bedroom man continues.

  • 20. That Was A Daniel Cooper!

    Put down your personal pineapple, pocket your pipe and rip your velcro trousers right off, because this week Daniel Cooper is in the room and he insists - WE. MUST. DANCE.

    Join us as we spin, twist and thrust our way into War and Peace party legend - we've done the small talk, we've swapped the gossip, and now it's time to let our hips do the talking.

    Listen this week as we witness the birth of disco, we're partying 70s style - 1870s that is.

  • 19. Napoleon vs. The World

    Between the endless servings of turtle burgers, whole pineapples and free refill wine you could be forgiven for thinking that everything in the world was amazing and perfect.

    Perhaps after dinner we will dance? Perhaps tomorrow there will be another party? Perhaps it will be this way forever? Perhaps.

    But behind the totally sweet riffs of the Gravy Boaters, a new tune is starting to play. Under the wicked great banjo solo is the clink of bayonets, through the vibrant buzz of the kazoo is the hiss of the cannon's fuse, and melding with the sick licks of the didgeridoo is the distant drone of death.

    With every chunk you tear from your personal pineapple, the sound gets louder - dinner's nearly over, and war is for dessert.

    Show notes

    A sensational drawing of Count Rostov, covered in sauceWow. Just wow. We've died and gone to WAP heaven. Suriah from the US sends in this phenomenally sensational drawing of Count Rostov - round, proud and dripping with sauce, it's the perfect rendition of the perfect man. Thank you Suriah, this is quite possibly the best thing ever made.

    Take a look at Suriah's drawing in FULL HD, and see the other brilliant things people have sent in, over at Tolstoy's Hall of Fame.

  • 18. Enter The Dragon

    Legend tells of a powerful and mysterious woman, raised by wild pigs in the Siberian mountains, she has learnt that ice and fire are the inseparable sisters of survival.

    The story foretells that she will appear only in the most unusual of circumstances - it must be a glorious name day, there must be an organised dining event the like of which Russia has never seen, and there must be the powerful stench of shame.

    It is said she will come and feed on the shame, turning its cold ice into the warm glow of humiliation with just the flick of her forked tongue.

    Join us this week, if you dare.