Month: May 2021
49. There’s Snow Business Like Sad Business!
We're back at Sad Mansion and there really is snow way out. It's time to arrange another wedding, so let's really dial up the sad-ometer!
Nasty Nick is back and he is positively piste! His angry sneezes are seconds away from causing an avalanche of misery. Will he succeed in making everyone in the house cry? Will he pull off the biggest prank of the entire book? Will Marry smile? Will Vasili inch closer to Space Mountain? Will the pretty pregnant Princess start a successful fashion blog?
There's only one way to find out...
Grab the shovel.
48. Daddy’s Off To Disneyland
You know the feeling - your bags are packed, you've triple checked the passports, your pockets are stuffed with travel ham. This is going to be the best holiday ever.
But as your horse drawn taxi clatters toward the airport a terrible sensation creeps up your spine.
What have you forgotten?
You took the bear to the bear sitter, check. Household gas and electricity supply doesn't exist yet, it can't be that. Snuff boxes? They've all been sorted alphabetically, all good.
Out of the window you see a doughnut on the floor. Doughnut. Daughnut. Daughter! The blood drains from your face - "Taxi - STOP! Turn around! We must go back!"
How could you be so stupid! You've forgotten to marry your daughter to someone incredibly wealthy. Disneyland will have to wait.
With shaking cheeks and clenched fists, you slowly tear your non-refundable tickets in two. When all the children are married, you'll probably be able to buy your own Disneyland. All in good time, all in good time.
47. King of The Bed Toilet – Book 3 Begins!
Sick and tired of having grapes shot at you all day? Fed up of cheese rolls and barefooted handsome psychopaths? Are you longing for your old life of decadence? A life of seemingly endless and interchangeable social gatherings? A life full of turtle-based snacks and unforgettable anecdotes from the freshest diplomatists that Russia has to offer?
Are your hands really massive and red?
Do you need a wife? DO YOU WANT A WIFE?!
If you answered 'YES!' to any of these questions, we think you're ready for Book 3.
"Pop another turtle on the BBQ and fetch my party wig!"