Recent Episodes

  • 76. Pierre’s Perfect Pilgrim Party

    Pierre the perfect pilgrim pleaser pleases pilgrims perfectly in this week's perfectly priceless episode of WAPIN7.

    PAUSE!

    "Pierre? Perfect!? " You proudly protest!

    Well yes! Pierre is a perfect, polished, patient, professional, pleasant, punctilious and perfectly perfect player and it's about time everyone knew it!

    Preach!

  • 75. Free The Smurfs

    This week we're talking Serfs - the indentured workforce of 1800s Russia, bonded to a lifetime of hard labor for zero pay as they slowly die from preventable diseases in their rat infested hovels.

    We'll be asking "Is that really that bad?" and hearing things like "Maybe my Serfs are actually having a great time?" as well as "Even if it won't cost me much to significantly improve their lives, what's the point? I can't be bothered quite frankly".

    Plus we meet one man who's showing his big red finger to the nay sayers as he tries to glam-up his Serfs, for better or worse.

  • 74. Meta Letter

    We just got a meta letter!

    I wonder who it's from?

    A letter inside another letter!

    I wonder who it's from?!

    A letter longer than time itself...

    I wonder who it's from!!

    A special special meta letter that's super extra long!

    WHO IS IT FROM?!?! JUST TELL ME!

    There's only one way to find out...

  • 73. St. Partiesburg

    Warm up your mouth, polish your teeth and fill your lungs because it's time to party! Yes that's right, you are invited to another sensational Anna 1 get together where your hips absolutely will not do the talking, but your lips certainly will.

    Prepare to chat, schmooze, and wag your chin all the way to the top as you compete with the greatest small talkers in all of St. Petersberg. Will you tell the joke of a lifetime and be instantly made emperor? Or will you stick your foot so deep in your mouth we'll have to call for Dr. Loraine?

    Not since Book 1 has there been such an incredible opportunity - we'll see you there.

  • 72. Think About It!

    We've all joined ultra secretive societies before. We all know the drill: box of bones, blindfold, various sets of gloves with incredibly specific uses, a trowel, some aprons, secret hieroglyphs, an unknowable mystery, various states of undress and of course a very very very large bill to be paid immediately!

    For those of you who haven't joined a secret society I think you're in for quite a treat...

    "More bones, please!!"

  • 71. Parlay With The Pirate King – Book 5 Begins!

    Ahoy me hearties! What better way to start Book 5 than with an old sea shanty!

    One sad man in a very sad place
    Yo ho ho and a bottle of vodka
    Enter the Pirate King with a large round face
    Yo ho ho and a bottle of vodka

    Who is the Pirate King? What does he want? Why is he yelling? Why does he only eat tiny bits of sugar?

    There's only one way to find out...

    It be time to walk the plank!

  • 70. Special: The Monkey’s Paw

    What happens when you take a boring old monkey paw, fill it with magical evilness and exactly three wishes, and give it to an unsuspecting family who like playing chess and listening to the wind?

    Will they wish for world peace?

    Will they wish for the world's best clown?

    Will they wish for more paws?

    There's only one way to find out...

    "Monkey Paw, I wish for a special episode of WAPIN7 summarising ALL of the Monkey's Paw!"

    *WISH GRANTING SOUNDS

    **Also some wind sounds

  • 69. Book 4 Catch-Up Quiz

    You've finished book 4 of the greatest book of all time!

    You're feeling proud, brave and completely diplomat. You howl with pride. Howl like a recently cursed werewolf singing his heart out at the clavichord. Just as you reach the crescendo of your happy wolf song it dawns on you... Do I actually remember anything?

    Well do you?!

    It's quiz time!

    We've got questions about 13th century personal pronouns, shopping lists, Russian Emperors, Ham, Hands, Money, Mums and of course Smurfs.

    There's only one thing left to do.

    *CUE GAMESHOW MUSIC

    Let us know how you do! - email tolstoy@wapin7.com or follow us @wapin7podcast on Instagram 

    0 - 9 = Alexander III
    10 - 20 = Alexander II
    Over 20 = The most perfect handsome man of all time: Alexander I

  • 68. The Last Song of The Werewolf – Book 4 Finale!

    Ancient Russian legends speak of an old curse.

    It is said there is a man, human to a glance, but listen to him sing and you will hear the beautiful and sad voice of a wolf.

    This half man, half wolf, is older than time itself. Through the millenia he has sought but one thing, one thing that could finally release him from his furry prison - true love.

    Who is the beast? Will the curse finally be broken? How can this possibly relate to War and Peace?

    Join us this week as we answer these questions and more in the final episode of Book 4.

  • 67. The Big Ping-Pong Punt

    The first rule of Ping-Pong-Cricket cards is: you do not talk about Ping-Pong-Cricket-Cards.

    The second rule of Ping-Pong-Cricket Cards: you DO NOT talk about Ping-Pong-Cricket Cards!

    Third rule of Fight Club, sorry Ping-Ping-Cricket Cards: if someone yells “stop!”, goes limp, or taps out, the Ping-Pong-Cricket Card game is over.

    Theres only one question, 'Are you afraid to play?"

    Everything is on the line... (sort of)

    *Cue Ominous Music