Recent Episodes

• 3 November 2022Episodes

  S6E9 Special: Twilight Chapter 1

  Forks, Washington gets 110 inches of rain, on average, per year. The US average is 38 inches of rain per year.

  A lot of rain to wash away your sins... Perhaps; perhaps indeed.

  Forks averages 7 inches of snow per year. The US average is 28 inches of snow per year.

  Why doesn't the rain want to turn into snow? Spooky. Very spooky indeed...

  On average, there are 131 sunny days per year in Forks. The US average is 205 sunny days.

  What is the sun so scared of? What mystical and deeply emotional beings are hiding in the shadows?

  There's only one way to find out.

  Time to get into the big red truck and find out why Twilight is the best and worst book series of all time.

• 15 September 2022Episodes

  S6E8. Pandy’s Promise – Book 6 Finale!

  1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6!

  Another book down.

  Take a bow, do a small dance, ask someone to marry you and sit in silence for exactly one year, have a pineapple or simply sit down and listen to the Book 6 Finale.

  There's only one thing left to say

  Onwards

• 1 September 2022Episodes

  S6E7. Normal People Doing Stuff

  Nothing to see here, move along, move along.

  It's just another standard week in War and Peace this week as the perfectly normal married humans, Vera and Berg, do utterly expected and human-y things with their normal human friends.

  Join us normal listener as we peer into their completely acceptable and expected lives. What will we find? Just your average humans doing normal stuff we expect - perhaps they will be having a nice time doing normal things normally with friends, or quite possibly they will be doing their normal activities but completely on their own, which is ALL GOOD with us, as it is with them.

  They're normal, you're normal, we're probably even normal. Everything is NORMAL, and everything is FINE, OK??

• 18 August 2022Episodes

  S6E6. The Secret Of Happiness

  Prince Andy is on the hunt for happiness but in order to find it he simply must experience ambivalence, nihilism and straight up unhappiness first.

  This episode is sort of like a football match. But instead of two teams playing football, it's actually happiness and sadness sort of fighting each other. The winner gets to be the king of all football... Yeah, it's not really like that at all actually.

  Maybe we should leave the writing to Tolstoy.

• 4 August 2022Episodes

  S6E5. The Dance of Destiny

  We've been to soirees, parties, even a casual ball or five during our time with War and Peace. We've watched as The King of Sauce set the dance floor on fire, we've seen kids doing backflips to impress other kids, we've applauded out of fear and amazement as the Blunt Dragon devoured people whole.

  Truly we thought we'd seen everything that high society Russia had to offer.

  Little did we know that there was another type of ball. A bigger ball. A better ball. A less lame and more incredible and important ball... The Grand Ball.

  Join us this week, as we attend the most important ball of any of our lives. Fates, minds and hearts will be made or broken tonight, all of Russian society could change in an instant, the world hangs in the balance at this ball to end all balls. See you there, don't be late. 

• 21 July 2022Episodes

  S6E4. Will You Money Me?

  Some marry for love.

  Some marry for a protracted negotiation around dowry payments, up front deposits, cash incentives and share options.

  Some choose not to marry because they don't love someone.

  Some choose not to marry because the dowry payments, up front deposits, cash incentives and share options aren't optimal in the current economic climate and the return on investment will be suboptimal.

  * Cue Succession Theme

• 7 July 2022Episodes

  S6E3. Dear Diary

  Dear Diary,
  My name's Pierre and I'm in my 20s, maybe early 30s, I'm not really sure. I've had a strange few years, I swapped my wife for a pile of bones and then I built a hospital out of money and sticks. Now I'm a senior guy at a pretty cool secret club, they think I'm pretty cool, but I'm starting to worry all the blood and arguments might not be as great as I first thought.
  Anyway sleepy now, night night diary,
  Pierre xox

• 23 June 2022Episodes

  S6E02. The Whole World In His Hands!

  All together now!

  He's got the rights of the people, in his hands!

  He's got plump white hands, for his hands!

  He's got a strange way of talking, in his hands!

  He's got the whole world in his hands!

• 9 June 2022Episodes

  S6E01. Hot Hot Spring – Book 6 Begins!

  We’re back! It’s officially Volume 2, it’s officially 1808, it’s officially spring. Indeed, the spring has never been springier in this spring-time spring spectacular. Peel off precisely one layer, go for a walk, and get ready to feel the full force of spring’s power.

  Chirping birds - check.

  Blooming flowers - check.

  Talking trees - check.

  This is going to be the best damn spring of your whole life. 

• 26 May 2022Episodes

  83. Special: The Murders In The Rue Morgue – Part 2 of 2

  You've been hanging on to that cliff for too long!

  It's time for us to set you free and reveal the murderer! Or MURDERERS!!

  This week it's all about windows and doors and locks and nails and hair but mainly windows and locks and doors and did we mention windows?!

  Get ready for the payoff of to the world's FIRST detective story.

  You're not going to believe it...