Recent Episodes

• 17 September 2020Episodes

  16. The Con Is On

  If you thought you could kidnap a policeman, tie him to a stolen bear, then push them both in the canal and wonder off without any consequences, think again!

  Join us this week as Pierre's dark, bear filled past rears its furry head to cause moderate to severe embarrassment. Can Pierre take the heat, or will his social standing be torn to shreds by the vicious claws of gossip?

  Plus - CUE FUNKY CRIME MUSIC - we're casing the joint with two of War and Peace's wiliest slicksters - they're buttering up with one hand, and looking for Cecil's mountain of cash with the other. Will they pull off the con of the century or will they end up in the clink? CUE MONTAGE.

  Show notes

  What the hand?! Another hand drawing! Yes! More hands! Han-believable! Lucia (pronounced the Italian way) from the USA sends in this formidable artistic rendering of Pierre's infamous arm-ending appendages. Thank you Lucia! Find out more about this inspiring piece by subscribing to the newsletter and visiting Tolstoy's Hall of Fame.

• 10 September 2020Episodes

  15. Uncle In The Bedroom

  There's an uncle in the bedroom
  A bedroom made of gold
  An uncle the most handsome
  In all Russia, it's been told

  "We'd like to see the uncle please
  Before he goes and dies
  We've heard he's freakin loaded
  And we were passing by"

  There's an uncle in the bedroom
  In this week's episode
  Listen now, and have no fear
  The actual show's in prose

• 3 September 2020Episodes

  14. This Is So Diplomat!

  This week the generations are at war.

  On one side, the mysterious Vera. Handsome as they come, her mouth quite possibly brimming with spiders - and now, terrifying new rumours that she wields dark and unnatural powers.

  On the other side, four hopeful children. Innocent as tiny little ducklings, their only weapons are the power of love and some really quite cutting insults they have just invented.

  But will their incantations be enough to overpower the ice hearted Vera? Or will the good house Rostóv be consumed with pure spidery evil?

• 27 August 2020Episodes

  13. Let’s Get Kissin’

  The storm clouds are clearing and the romance rainbow is in the air - get your ❤️ emoji ready because this week WAP is crushin' hard.

  We're playing hard to get, we're mixing our messages and we're literally playing hide and seek. Get ready to get smitten, because this week it's a heartstring symphony, and you're all invited.

• 20 August 2020Episodes

  12. Cat Woman’s Heartbreak

  Sure it's great that all these old people are having a nice time, but what are the YOUNG people up to? And who the heck do they fancy? Tell me now!

  This week we're slip n' sliding our way through the intricate social web of Moscow's youth scene to answer these critical questions. Join us as we jump on the seesaw of uncertainty, clamber high on the jungle gym of jealousy and go feet first down the slide of emotional instability.

  The stakes are high and the eyes have never been deweyer, don't miss this week's episode.

  Show notes

  It's been an e-mail bonanza this week. Hugh from the UK sent in a sensational drawing of Pierre's hands. I'm sure you'll agree it really captures Pierre's deepest motivations, inner ambitions as well as his big red hands - a true work of art.

  Hugh's drawing rightly takes its place as the first piece on the walls of Tolstoy's Hall of Fame - thank you Hugh. 

• 13 August 2020Episodes

  11. The Psychic Doll

  Join us this week as we meet one of the lesser-known characters of War and Peace - Mimi the Psychic Doll.

  Is she the true power behind the Rostóv's incredible wealth? Who is the small boy she controls and what does he want? And how will the family finally escape her supernatural grasp?

  Plus it's cause for celebration as we enjoy our first ever name day, and we go deep inside the snuff tin to find out more about the mysterious nasal spice.

• 6 August 2020Episodes

  10. The Final Countdown

  We've met a fair few wealthy people, even some really quite rich people and now it's time to meet the most fabulously loaded family Russia has ever produced. We're talking the Ferrero Rocher of human beings - yeah, they're that rich.

  They've got footmen coming out the wazoo, enough snuff to kill a massive elephant and the sharpest small talk in all of Moscow.

  Move over Dale Carnegie, if you really want to know How to Win Friends and Influence People, listen to this episode.

• 30 July 2020Episodes

  9. Party Bear

  Sure, the party's over, but that doesn't mean there isn't time for ANOTHER PARTY. Put the vol-au-vents in the bin - it turns out getting absolutely wasted was the idea all along.

  What you'll need: 1 litre of rum per person, carpentry tools, a friendly but irresponsible zoo keeper, and of course a couple of packs of cards. Oh, and don't forget your collar and chain.

  The party rule book is quite literally out of the window. Trust us, you've never seen anything like this.

• 23 July 2020Episodes

  8. Negative Nancy

  It's an age old debate: will marriage make you happy and fulfilled, or will it suck the entire life force from you, turning you into an empty husk - a gibbering, nodding, simpleton, broken and corrupted by the ring on your finger and the ball and chain on your leg?

  Tune in this week for some advice that really could change your life as Negative Nancy dives deep, deep, deep into the pit of despair that is marriage.

• 16 July 2020Episodes

  7. Stay Out Of It, Pierre!

  War and Peace - a happy dream world of endless partying, thoroughly amusing small talk and exciting networking opportunities... or is it?

  Join us this week as things get serious - we're going deep, deep behind the curtain and what we find there might shock you to your core.

  Bring your best friend, pack your teddy bear and think happy thoughts - this is War and Peace, and the party is over.